new zealand, for all its charm and its wonder, had become traumatic, occasionally even boring, overly well-trodden ground for mako over the course of thirty years on the north island, and while he’d known that he was essentially committing suicide in the disruption of his safety and routine and the wholesale uprooting of his life, he’d become so desperate for an other existence that he’d perceived no alternative choice but to leave. He’d moved to new orleans in the late spring of eight years ago pursuing a writing/editing job at a quirky little publication called endymion, smelling like way too tired for his age and running away from messes partially of his own making.
References to Polynesian Religion & Lore. Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage. Leespirit777 Fandoms: New Zealand Actor RPF, Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Actor RPF It's fun in completely made-up fanfic but it's assault in real life, m'kay? Language: English Words: 7,714 Chapters: 4/4 Kudos: 6 Bookmarks: 1 Hits: 105 Kids, don't molest people in their sleep. Reposted from Conchords Slash many moons ago when the world was young. This fic was based loosely on the boys' idiosyncratic acceptance speeches for the Vodaphone New Zealand Music Awards (check them out here: ). The four stages of acceptance: Bed, Couch, Rambo, and Office. NoStarsForNaughtyBoys Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types But is it what he really wants? Language: English Words: 21,584 Chapters: 7/7 Kudos: 6 Bookmarks: 1 Hits: 63 
Offered more money than he's ever seen before to pose for an eccentric artist who looks uncannily like Jemaine, Bret is drawn into a world of manipulation and perverse pleasure.
The Crashing Despair When Someone Doesn't Know David Bowie. I Stole That Snake Joke from Jonathan Creek. Brief Kieran Vollard/Surprise Special Guest. Jemaine Clement/Kieran Vollard (brief and with dubious consent). 
NoStarsForNaughtyBoys Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Dinner for Schmucks
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